Make Christmas about the children not your divorce

Posted on November 13, 2024

Divorced or separated parents face specific legal considerations when it comes to arranging Christmas and other holidays and although it’s only November it’s better to make your arrangements as soon as possible to avoid any confusion.

It’s always a good idea to plan early and have open and honest discussions, advise our family solicitors. If your children are old enough and it’s a possibility then consider involving them in the discussions.

“Parents should focus on what is in the child’s best interests, not what is in their best interests and any conflicts should be kept away from the children,” said Family Law Solicitor, Lucinda McWatt.

“Compromises should be made, so if they were with mum last year, why not let them be with dad this year, or visa versa. Or, Christmas day could be split with handover taking place at a time during the day so the child can see both parents, but If you cannot reach an agreement then there could be a mediation referral in first instance,” added Lucinda.

Tips to navigate Christmas as a divorced parent

“Navigating Christmas as a separated or divorced parent involves careful legal and emotional considerations, but your decisions should be child-centric. I’ve put together some top tips and hopefully by considering them you can have a conflict-free Christmas, which surely is best for all,” said Lucinda.

1. Review the Child Arrangements Order

If you have a Child Arrangements Order in place, it may specify how Christmas and other holidays should be divided. Review this order carefully to ensure you understand your legal rights and obligations. Both parents are legally obligated to follow the terms of the Child Arrangements Order. Failure to do so could result in legal action, including possible penalties.

2. Communicate and plan early

Start discussions with your ex-partner well before the holiday season to agree on how Christmas will be shared. This reduces the chances of last-minute disputes. The same goes for planning summer holidays.

If you reach an agreement, consider documenting it in writing. While a written agreement isn’t legally binding, it can serve as a useful reference and reduce misunderstandings.

3. Seek Mediation if necessary

If you and your ex-partner can’t agree on Christmas arrangements consider using a family mediation service. Mediators are neutral third parties who can help you reach an agreement without going to court. Before applying to court over a dispute, you are generally required to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) to explore mediation as an option.

4. Modify existing Child Arrangements Orders

If your current Child Arrangements Order no longer suits your circumstances, you may apply to the court for a variation. This should be done well in advance of the holidays.

“Either parent can issue an application at Court for a CAO, to determine the arrangements for a child. There is no hard and fast rule about who a child should be with on Christmas day,” explained Lucinda.

If you cannot agree on a particular aspect of the holiday arrangements, such as where the child will spend Christmas, you may apply for a Specific Issue Order to resolve the matter.

5. Travel considerations

If you plan to take your child abroad for Christmas, you must have the other parent’s permission if they share parental responsibility. If permission is not granted, you may need to seek a court order.

Ensure you have all necessary documentation, including written permission from the other parent, if required, and any relevant court orders.

6. Enforcement of Orders

If your ex-partner does not comply with the Child Arrangements Order during Christmas, you can apply to the court for enforcement. The court can impose penalties, including fines or community service. Also keep a record of any breaches or issues that arise, as this documentation may be useful in court.

“At all times if you are unsure your solicitor is only too willing to advise, we can hopefully help you understand your options going forward and help you plan to reduce potential conflict,” added Lucinda.

7. Family Court considerations

Family Courts generally prefer that parents resolve holiday disputes outside of court due to the emotional and financial costs involved, and only resort to court if all other avenues have failed. In some cases, particularly with older children, the court may consider the child’s wishes when making decisions about Christmas arrangements.

“By planning ahead, communicating clearly, and keeping the child’s best interests at heart, parents can navigate the Christmas period successfully, minimize conflict and hopefully encourage children to spend time with both sides of the family and have a good relationship going forward into the New Year.”

8. Child contact

Encourage your child to keep in contact with the other parent during the holidays, perhaps the odd image or text to help stay connected.

How can we help?

For legal advice on divorce or child arrangement orders over Christmas contact our family law solicitors on 0161 785 3500 or email enquiries@pearsonlegal.co.uk

Please note that the information and opinions contained in this article are not intended to be comprehensive, nor to provide legal advice. No responsibility for its accuracy or correctness is assumed by Pearson Solicitors and Financial Advisers Ltd or any of its members or employees. Professional legal advice should be obtained before taking, or refraining from taking, any action as a result of this article.